Sha Gojyo (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
cigsandbeer) wrote2024-05-18 08:19 am
cigsandbeer) wrote2024-05-18 08:19 am
IC INBOX
"Too bad; I'm busy with some shit. I'm only calling you back if you're a pretty woman ♥"
"Too bad; I'm busy with some shit. I'm only calling you back if you're a pretty woman ♥"
Re: [two days after the flood]
[He picks up the coffee, trying a small sip. Well, it's coffee.]
This is the second time that people from our lives have come here for a flood since I've been here. But generally, they don't repeat.
Re: [two days after the flood]
Right, and yet Kanan said she'd been here before. But then again...]
Am I crazy, or do some people remember exactly what happened while their... person was here, and others don't? [Not that he's gone over the recent network posts in detail, but he's skimmed enough to notice a variety.]
Re: [two days after the flood]
I remember, but it's cloudy. Some people [Jedao] remember everything crystal-clear, and some people just feel as if they blacked out when their visitor was here.
[He grimaces, very faintly, and takes another, larger sip of the coffee.]
Re: [two days after the flood]
Guess the silver lining [to Hakkai vaguely remembering] is I got out of that closet one day earlier. Even if it probably would've been nicer [for Hakkai] the blackout.
[The rope-burns are still there, although significantly faded.]
Re: [two days after the flood]
[His gaze slips to the marks on Gojyo's wrists. There's a flicker in his gaze, something dark and complicated; he keeps it off his face.]
Anyway... I'd have made sure someone would check, if I didn't know who I was switching with.
I didn't want her to hurt anyone. But I also don't want to leave you tied up in a closet for days alone.
[Since they're talking about it.]
Re: [two days after the flood]
He finishes his coffee, rubs his face with one hand.
Hakkai didn't want Gojyo to be hurt. Didn't want her to hurt anyone. Yeah, there's one person missing there.]
...Wanna tell me why you decided it was necessary to kill her?
Re: [two days after the flood]
He looks down at his hands, white-knuckled around the coffee cup.]
Would it have been any kinder to knock her out and leave her in a closet, tied up and screaming?
Re: [two days after the flood]
Obviously she was upset right after coming here. [And seeing Gojyo's face all over the communicator.]
Re: [two days after the flood]
[It seemed as if everything he'd said had only worked her up. He falls briefly silent again. Then, because if two and a half years on the Barge have taught him anything, they've taught him that sometimes he ought to be honest, he adds very quietly:]
Although I wasn't willing to agree with her about you.
[Frankly, he'd much rather break her neck than that.]
Re: [two days after the flood]
She wasn't a fighter. You could've so easily overpowered her without--
[It's the second time she's had to die because of him. The second time someone's had to kill her because of him.]
Re: [two days after the flood]
[It's been preying on his mind. But--]
But what would I have done with her after that?
Re: [two days after the flood]
How should I know? Maybe putting her somewhere she'd have the slightest chance of calming down--
D'you realise how scared she would've been if she'd been the one to wake up in that closet?
Re: [two days after the flood]
[He really, really hadn't cared.
Well, he had left Kanan careful instructions about not getting within reach of any possible attack if she were the one to wake up in the closet, but beyond that-- no.]
Re: [two days after the flood]
She didn't need that! Getting dragged here with no explanation, all alone and because of me...! Was it that fucking hard to show her even a tiny ounce of kindness!?
[He'll likely realise, later, that killing her was the most humane thing to do. Right now... well.]
Re: [two days after the flood]
You didn't bring her here, Gojyo. It was this ship that pulled her from her rest, not you.
You're not responsible for anything that happened to her here because of her choices.
I did try to explain.
[She'd attacked him for telling her that her older son wasn't on board. Beyond drugging and restraining her... after a moment, he looks away.]
What would you rather I do?
Re: [two days after the flood]
[After a moment, Gojyo drops back onto his chair and buries his face in one hand. Takes a deep breath.
If the breath sounds somewhat ragged and suspiciously like a sob, that's a trick of the light.]
[Slightly more gently:] ...Fuck, I should be apologising for you having to kill her.
[Instead of being angry. Things Gojyo and Dokugakuji have in common: unreasonable beliefs of their responsibilities towards their mother.]
Re: [two days after the flood]
[It's empty, after all. And it's small: she couldn't fall, she couldn't get tangled in anything. The worst she could have done is kick and bruise herself.]
On a bed, even if I'd tied her hands, she could've fallen or tangled herself in the blankets, and if I wasn't there....
[He had been thinking about her, in part. Just not about her emotional comfort. He looks away, voice dropping to a quieter level.]
Gojyo. You don't have to apologize to me for anything that she did or anything that I did.
[Neither his mother's choices nor Hakkai's are Gojyo's fault.]
Re: [two days after the flood]
[Sure, Gojyo isn't responsible for Hakkai's or his mom's choices, and it was the Admiral who brought her here, but Gojyo was the one who agreed to come to the Barge, and the Admiral would never have brought her here if Gojyo wasn't present (at least if he's understanding the recent flood correctly). So it's still because of him, no matter what Hakkai says.]
Couldn't you at least have left her a pillow? A blanket?
Re: [two days after the flood]
Honestly... I was hoping she wouldn't come back until you came back.
[That honesty is more quiet, delivered mostly to his coffee cup before he drowns it with a scalding swallow.]
Re: [two days after the flood]
[The very thought of his mom waking up alone and scared and tied up in a closet is enough to make him feel sick with guilt.]
...If... if there's a next time. Leave her a goddamn pillow and blanket. Even if it means I'm fucking comfortable for two seconds.
[Still somewhat testily. Sorry Hakkai: he's still angry, but... this at least is a bare-minimum, very reasonable boundary?]
Re: [two days after the flood]
His voice isn't too loud when he speaks, but it's carefully scrubbed of emotion, the way he sounds when he's having a lot of feelings and doesn't want to discuss them.]
If there's a next time, I will.
Re: [two days after the flood]
Good. [Not "thank you". He goes to pour himself another cup of coffee, and takes a moment to put on the water kettle as well. Yes, his cabin probably has a proper tea kettle courtesy of Hakkai, but brewing tea Properly is too much work this morning.]
How was she? I tried lending her my cabin but she said she'd stay in the one you'd left me in, and that she had food covered.
[He's just. aware that Kanan could've been lying, and doesn't blame her for it.]
Re: [two days after the flood]
Of course, Hakkai had probably deserved it.]
Ah... she was all right. She did end up staying in--
[A brief hesitation.]
That's my old cabin.
Re: [two days after the flood]
--Fuck, that's why it looked so- ["familiar". Gojyo pauses long enough to finish pouring his cup of coffee, as it sinks in.
You were his home for five years.
...Yeah. Of course Hakkai would want to move out and into his husband's cabin.
.......]
I think I've got some tea bags left that aren't totally stale. [Yes, he knows bagged tea is an affront to the gods, but it's... something?]
Re: [two days after the flood]
[A small shrug. He keeps his hands wrapped around the cup, even if it's almost empty. He can recognize that Gojyo's just realized-- something. That their house is still Hakkai's home? He's offering tea now, which, even if it's bagged and probably stale, means he's trying to reach out...
Hakkai is aware when he's overthinking. It doesn't always stop him, but he knows.]
I'm glad it meant she had a place to stay.
And I'd... like that. Thank you.
Re: [two days after the flood]
Re: [two days after the flood]
Re: [two days after the flood]
Re: [two days after the flood]
Re: [two days after the flood]
Re: [two days after the flood]
Re: [two days after the flood]
Re: [two days after the flood]
Re: [two days after the flood]
Re: [two days after the flood]