cigsandbeer | IC INBOX

[Gojyo knows Armand is dangerous, if nowhere near to what extent. But no matter how dangerous a person is, sometimes they'll want to be comforted.

He sees no reason to talk about it if Armand himself doesn't want to, but given Armand's phrasing, he does suspect the death toll is self-inflicted. Gojyo's no stranger to self-destructive tendencies.

He wraps his arm around Armand, solid and strong, and settled in to watch whatever stupid movie this is going to be.]

[Armand doesn’t want to talk about it (at least for the moment). It’s one reason to call Goyjo who he suspects can understand certain things without being told. He doesn’t want to talk about anything in this moment, which is part of why he picked a movie he enjoys and that he thinks Goyjo can enjoy even without interesting film facts.

And Goyjo doesn’t even have to admit to anything, as he’s serving as a comforting presence.

As the movie draws to a close, he sighs slightly.]

This was my favorite of Shakespeare’s plays. When I was young.

[Does Shakespeare exist in Shangri-la? Possibly, but even if he does Gojyo is vaguely familiar with the name at best: it's clear enough that he's not familiar with the story (but now invested in it) by the way he utters a quiet "noooo" when Leonardo diCaprio doesn't get Juliet's letter.]

Yeah? I guess it wasn't too bad. [He very much enjoyed it.]

Found a better one later?

Edited 2025-10-07 13:38 (UTC)

No, though I understood more of the comedies, later. [Titus Andronicus is pretty funny.]

I gained more context for the histories [And remained mostly unmoved.]

But even at the beginning when I understood so little… this made sense.

...Yeah. [This story does make sense.

Hm.]

I'm picking the movie next time. Got something to show you.

OK.

[He finds comfort in lying against Gojyo like this, letting himself relax enough to feel the ache of the not yet fully dispelled Death Toll.

He is capable of ignoring it entirely, but it's more restful when he doesn't have to. He's very good at enduring pain. And doing so is enough to eventually add:]

I've never lived alone.

Edited 2025-10-07 15:12 (UTC)

[Gojyo doesn't move, and keeps his arm around Armand. He can't do anything about the physical effects of the death toll, but he can at least offer this.

By the time Armand finally speaks, Gojyo's almost dozed off.]

...Mm. Must be hard getting used to.

It is.

[As much as he dislike the Barge, even here there's a certain amount of at least living around people. Back home... well, he doesn't want to think about it. But sometimes it's nice to just be able to say something.]

It has some benefits, though, doesn't it?

[He's not about to ask "Do you prefer it to living with someone else?" when the vibe pretty clearly says Armand doesn't.]

[The pause suggests Armand is trying to think of some. Sometimes it's easier than others.]

There were people I didn't like living with.

During the breach... he didn't live with anyone. [Armand can distance himself from who he was at sixteen, let alone from a fake life. But it's the background details that can end up hitting harder than expected.]

["You can have a wank whenever you want without worrying if someone will catch you", Gojyo doesn't point out. This doesn't seem like the right time (even if it's true).]

Breaches are weird. Either they're just plain weird, or they're upsetting. I mean, even if logically know that person wasn't actually you.

[It is not a worry that Armand has ever had, though the lack of concern for privacy is likely attached to the lack of having any.]

It wasn't me, and the world wasn't mine...

When I was that age, I lived in with the other apprentices of my master in a painter's workshop. It was a grand house, and space for all living there. That person in the breach... he was alone. [It's a contrast that preys on old nightmares.]

That must've sucked. [In contrast, in the breach Gojyo had a loving parent and a little sister with whom he shared a happy household, and he's doing his best not to have any feelings about that.]

[...] So this is suuuuper embarrassing to admit, but: the me in that world kinda liked you. Gross.

[It had been as if they were dead.

He laughs, remembering that Gojyo.] That you had good taste. Who doesn't like someone with a cape? A true 'catch'.

What, you didn't like me back? I had all those cool gadgets!

They were very cool gadgets [he assures him solemnly].

He did like you [he adds, deciding it's best to skip over any reason that includes stuff like caring for family], though what an age for such a thing.

Aw, you had a crush on me, [Gojyo says with a playful jostle of Armand's shoulder.]

Ugh, I never wanna be a teenager again. That age sucked. [His own early childhood was worse in many ways, but in different ways compared to teenagehood.]

Yet I know there's no need to be embarrassed. [The loftiness just as playful.

He tilts his head in agreement.] It is not a good age. Real or fake.

Tell me about it. I was such a mess at that age. [Okay, so maybe he's still kind of a mess, but it was so much worse when he was younger.

Anyway, that's skirting against Things He Doesn't Walk To Talk About. Redirecting a bit:]

I've always lived alone. When I did get a roommate it was so hard getting used to it.

[Armand’s willing to take Goyjo’s lead in moving away from actual teenage years.]

I imagine it would be strange the other way.

Why did you decide to take a roommate?

Eh, it just kinda happened? When I met Hakkai he didn't really have anywhere else to go, and kicking him out seemed like a hassle.

[Gojyo: doing such a convincing job of hiding his soft-heartedness as always.]

[Armand’s nice enough not to point out that one sounds like more of a hassle than the other.]

I can see how that could happen.

Is it strange to have him… living elsewhere?

...I guess. Kinda.

[It's so strange and there are days Gojyo feels painfully alone in his cabin.]

In the end I ended up getting used to actually living with someone instead, that's so stupid.

[What a mistake to actually start assuming that this one person wouldn't leave.]

It's not strange. I'm used to living with someone, and I'm very normal.

[He manages not to laugh at his own joke. He pauses a moment, now suddenly (carefully) tentative.]

...Could I sleep in your cabin? Just until old memories are less present. I do not need to sleep much.

[That's okay: Gojyo snorts at that joke.

...]

Um, sure. My cabin ain't this fancy, though.

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